Profound Thoughts

It is about 14 miles drive from work to home, which roughly takes half an hour driving. It is indeed a long way for me that gives enough time to relax a stressful mind after a hectic day. The scenic elegance is truly at its pinnacle in this route from Norwich to Long Stratton.

The fields, the greens, the farms, and the wildlife, make it lively and rich on a summer evening. I drive through the same path several times a week, still, I enjoy the ride each day and every day I pass by.

This evening, on my way back from work, I had to push the gas hard when this brown rabbit suddenly decided to hop in front of me, with no intention to move away. I was a bit scared if I will hurt him, so I moved forward carefully and hesitantly. As I slowly moved ahead, I saw him jumping about in the background, in my rearview mirror.

Passing by the poppy blossoms every day imparts a sense of warmth in my heart. It is indeed the most beautiful scenery that I pass by on my way home. It is said that poppy symbolises peace, sleep and death, but to me it portrays the vibrant colors of nature’s beauty to the core.

Though it’s a single carriageway, i prefer to drive slowly so I could absorb the elegance around me as I pass by. Driving solo with a romantic Bollywood track in the background through nature’s lap is indeed a beautiful feeling that lifts your spirits, by revitalising your soul.

As I turned to our residential area, I saw a few couples walk by hand in hand, enjoying the graceful evening sun, which still hasn’t kissed the horizon yet. As I parked my vehicle in my driveway, I escaped to my little nest to rest relax and rejuvenate my soul. Much Love ❤️

~ Chinchu Gibu

What a beautiful morning! The sunshine was brushing in through my bedroom curtains. Though I was awake, I still lay down for a while reading some random articles and listening to writing advise from Jerry Jenkins. Suddenly, a Whatsapp message popped on the top of the screen.

”Are you guys free?”

A message from my dearest friend, Romy in Brisbane, Aussie appeared. A video call with no alert followed it. I knew there was something unusual about this call. Otherwise, she wouldn’t just randomly call me in this hour. I arose from the bed instantly and got to my shape and form to return the call.

My call got attended quickly. Two lovely people appeared on the screen. Romy and Prathibha, I knew for some reason that Romy had a surprise this time. I’ve seen Prathibha after 13 years, to be precise, the first time after leaving nursing school. Indeed my pleasure to meet her again. They were just having a family gathering.

And of course, now I also became a part of it, even though I was miles away, on the opposite side of the globe.

We had a pleasant conversation. I could see the two pairs of eyes, watching me closely and making comments.

They said to each other, ”She is still the same, hasn’t changed much, has she?”

They both seemed joyful in teasing me on my love for chocolates. I was indeed fond of chocolates. But for some reason, I effortlessly removed all these memories from my heart a long time ago, blame my selective memory. Is it because life changed or priorities changed? I don’t have an answer to it.

I enjoyed every bit of the dialogue we had. Life has changed, but we remain the same at heart. In this little time, we spoke about ourselves, our families, lockdown and what not.

”Can that happen, that we ever lack topics to discuss? ” No way.

I love surprises once in a while, and this was a beautiful one to start my day. Thanks, guys, you don’t know how much these little things matter to me—Much Love.

~ChinchuGibu

Picture Credits: Caption picture credits to Google images.

My friend reminded me of Jalebi today. She is a cooking freak for good. During this lockdown period, herself and her hubby cook and plate a new dish each day and send me beautiful pictures of it. Their cooking and plating skills are just awesome.

Today’s topic was the star of sweets, Jalebi, Of course my favourite, the first one my eyes search for in any bakery/ sweet shop I go, while in India. The colour itself makes it so pleasing to the eye, and once you take a bite, that’s it, it just melt in your mouth, and takes you to the next level of satisfaction..For me it is the most romantic and appetising sweet dish to consume.

I did try to make it myself this afternoon, I would rather not mention the outcome. It honestly didn’t taste as it should be doing. I only know that I tried, but unfortunately, neither the taste nor the looks were pleasing to the eye or to the mouth.. I just accepted the failure this first time. Though my attempt failed, I happily thought, It was worth a try ..

~ Chinchu Gibu

Home, the thought that conquered me this morning as I woke up… When will I be home again.? To the place my heart longs to escape to. Indeed, the thought of home starts in there, where my soul lies. The home where my little feet took the first steps to the journey to my destiny. The place that takes me back to my childhood. And childhood to me is all the memories of my maternal home and grandparents The home where I saw abundance of love that belonged in the universe wrapped in two human figures, my grandparents, (who I fondly called my Appachen and my Ammachi). The most carefree days of my life belonged there. The hymn songs my Ammachi recited and the bedtime stories of Jonah and Noah and Elijah, which was repeated almost every night, but I listened to it every time as though the first time… 

The beauty of the home not only lies on the people who live there. But every little thing that surrounds it and that binds it makes it whole. Each brick on the walls of my home indeed had a story and every piece of wood and metal in their witnessed me grow. Every little flower, the bushes and the trees has seen imprints of my hands and the trail of my footprints embedded in the soil there. I like to see the soul of my home as my Ammachi and the home itself and everything that comes along with it as my Appachen. The bush of the jasmine flower, the red hibiscus plant, the tamarind tree, the brindle berry tree, the bilimbi tree, the nutmeg tree, the mango tree, the coconut trees, the banana trees and the evergreen pomelo trees in the back yard and the various other trees and plants my Appachen planted, that surrounded the home made the habitat richer with nature.

Today everything looks different, as my grandparents left, I realize what a lovely scenic, rich memories they left me in my heart to cherish all my life. Today the glimpse of any of the image mentioned above passes by my vision field or the jingles of the similar hymns I heard as a child comes in my ears, it takes me back to childhood. Every scene of those beautiful days is engraved in my soul, with no fade in its glory. I look back today to see that every bit of me is like a piece of the jigsaw carefully joined in the right place by their utmost love and care, the same way they built their beautiful home. Today every good thing happens in my life, I look above as my heart says to me that you are watching me from above, smiling at me. And in every trials of my life, I know you shed your tears and pray for me to God to keep me safe. Much Love…

~Chinchu Gibu

[N.B. Picture credit: images via google, collaged]

The Jingles of the Ice Cream van was heard in a distance. I felt the excitement of a child as I drew the curtain of the lounge. I happily peeped through the window to the place I heard the music, to only find the pink colored vintage van parked outside my neighbor’s house. It has been a long while, I had an Ice Cream Cone. It is not that am a great fan of Ice Creams, but today I felt I want to have one. I quickly grabbed some pound coins from my purse and ran out to buy my little sweet treat for the day. I really wished my other half were not at work today, so he could join me. Because he is the one who loves Ice Cream more than I do, and I enjoyed his company. A few of my neighbors came out too. Of course, we practiced a good social distancing. And finally, it was my turn. I bought myself a medium cone ice cream with a stick of flaky chocolate. I also bought a Magnum White bar for my hubby, so he can have it once he is back from work. After I buy my frozen treat, I stood there watching the van move forward, and remained there until it was out of my sight. I walked back to our home, place his Ice cream bar carefully in the freezer. Then, I came to my living room and turned the telly on. As I slowly enjoyed the sweetness, I was reminiscing my memories of those days I enjoyed having Ice cream with friends and family. Every time I had an ice cream, either I had my friends or my family beside me, at least someone was around to share the joy. Did I ever think that one day I will be sitting in my living room on my own enjoying an Ice Cream myself, with no one beside to accompany and share the melodiousness of this little joy. I wish hard for the life on earth to be back to COVID-free and normal, so we do not have to accept the current state as the new normal.

~ChinchuGibu

I woke up this morning, having seen a weird dream. With the weirdest part where in the flight landed in the water body beside the road I was walking by. I could not focus whether it was a river or lake, because my eyes were on the plane. Though I was awake from my actual sleep, I was still lost. I did my daily chores so habitually as I do every day. I needed some cold water on my head to completely wake me up. So, I straight stepped into the shower.

After a lovely shower, I prepared my “Indian cuppa tea” and sat in front of my laptop thinking of my first assignment on “public watching”. To enlighten my soul, I had YouTube on with an Ilaiyaraaja soundtrack on the background. Funny thing is I do not understand Tamil, but I love this song for some reason. Suddenly I felt I cannot write anymore.  I think I need a little bit of motivation today. I cannot give up so easily.

It is a bright morning out there. I just stood up from my current position and kneeled on the couch facing to the window. The best position to watch everything around me, the one I recently adopted since the lock-down started. Like every day, the grey taxi car is parked off road opposite to my house. Looks like the driver, who I refer to as ‘the old man’, has not been to work since the lock down started.

We always talked about the way he parked his car, not an inch forward or backward. I always come out of my driveway reversing and this licensed hackney carriage is my daily reference point on where to stop before I change gear to drive forward. No matter how much space is left in front of it or behind, it stays in its place.

Few times I have noticed the pair of eyes that stare at me from the first-floor flat window, opposite my house when I drive out of my driveway. Though far away for me to really see it, I could sense the doubt in those eyes in my driving skills. Probably because of the new driver sign, which is still sticking on my little car, but whenever I see those eyes watching me, my lips curl up, with a naughty thought in heart, “Oh dear, am under constant surveillance.”

A few dog walkers passed by and a few cars. Not many people I saw. So naturally my gaze shifted to other things around. I suddenly remembered what my friend told me the other day, which truly made me laugh. She said, “when you look outside, you see dandelions, I see how bad my lawn looks like and worry about sorting it out.” I realized my lawn needs sorting badly too. But what to do, sadly I do not have the tools or the will myself to do it. Sooner rather than later I need to find a skilled person to help me with this.

My bushy rose plant has slowly started to have new leaves and buds. I cannot really wait to see it flowering. The Red Valerian, which was in the right-hand side, bloomed in its glory. And the Ivy plant of course need a real cutting and shaping so it will not invade our space in the home. With the thought of my garden needing a desperate sorting out, I realigned my sight again to the road in front of me.

I could see the significant decrease in the number of cars parked out in the road as compared to the beginning of the lockdown. Now that the restrictions have eased off a bit, to me it seems like people are not scared anymore or most probably fed up staying home so long that they started to enjoy the little freedom they attained for now. But I do not know why it feels like the silence before the storm.

I think I should not think any further, I should not leave my thoughts unrestrained and wild like this. It is nearly time for lunch. Usually, I cannot sleep if I am hungry, now it seems I cannot think straight because of the same. For me to complete my assignment I think I should first satisfy my hunger and then restart again.

~Chinchu Gibu

Am lighting this candle at my window tonight in support and appreciation to my fellow colleagues who been fighting front-line as mighty warriors against the dangerous bug that is creating havoc in the world. I know together we can and we will overcome this greatest global health emergency. And also paying my tribute to those who lost their lives in this fight. Thank you Team, You’re just amazing .. Much Love..

~ ChinchuGibu

I am a nurse that see the journey of life, from the moment of the first cry to the last gasp, yet every day I feel the same excitement and the same shock as I felt the first time

I am a nurse who see the fear in the eyes that look up to me, yet suppresses mine and pretends to be fearless in those eyes

I am a nurse who feels happy when I see the smile on my patients face, yet at times I get blamed of various things which may not be relevant than life

I am a nurse who cannot cope with the unsocial hours of the night, yet I do it fighting against my body to meet the needs at my work

I am a nurse who can encourage patients to drink plenty and yet my bottle of water remains unopened even at the end of my shift

I am a nurse whose bladder is made of elastic, that surprise myself how much it could hold, yet I am good at advising others on the same

Iam a nurse who finds it difficult to hold my tears, yet I stay strong to give my shoulder to the bereaving families

I am a nurse that deal any emergencies as though an expert. yet I tremble when my adrenaline rush eases off

I am a nurse that has a loving family waiting at home, yet expose myself to all the deadly bugs and then worry about everyone around me

I am a nurse, that sometimes get so fed for the number of records I need to complete to keep the evidence of what I did, yet I gather my will not to give up.

I am a nurse, not an angel, am just a human, and I deserve to be treated as human yet at times I feel that people take me for granted

I am a nurse, and mine is a key profession that no matter it is war or flood or outbreak or lock-down or terrorism, I should be at work, yet at times the least appreciated

I am a nurse, even though I feel sick and tired and unwell, yet I believe I can do many more things to make others feel better

I am a nurse that wear a smile on my face all day every day, as I enter the door of my workplace, so nobody knows how I bury all my worries of life in my heart

I am a nurse, that no matter how people treat me, and look down on me, yet I love my job as I deal with people and their precious lives, who put their trust in me.

~Chinchu Gibu

When I look myself in the mirror, I see the deep gaze of my mother. The love, the gracefulness , the endurance, the empathy, the care, the knowledge, the passion, whatever goodness that emit from me is from you, my mother. Apart from you being my comforter, my motivator, my well wisher, my strong pillar and my fortress in my life, there are some little yet great things I always cherish in heart, in every moment of my life that’s from you.

So mommy let me reveal some of my little secrets I have in heart for you:
Mommy, do you know what I think, why I developed my craziness to words..? I know that you loved reading novels so much, probably when you conceived me, you read too much..
Mommy, I know it’s you who held my hand to write my first words. I know that was Psalms 23, that I learned first to read and write. Today when I write my profound thoughts, I know it is from you, where I began my love to the beauty of words. And as I promised, one day I will make you proud with this and this is my prayer..

Mommy, remember as a child, when I was afraid to go in the dark, you taught me to remember this verse from Psalms 23,
“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” Do you know I still repeat this words in my heart when I feel frightened.

Mommy remember those sleepless nights of yours when I struggled to breathe and could not sleep lying down (due to asthma), I always slept on your shoulder and kept you awake. And your special homely herbal concoct mix, made of tulsi (Ocimum tenuiflorum/ Holy Basil), and turmeric, carefully made with your main ingredient of love in it, which was the best remedy for my fever and cold. And do you know when I get ill here, and I try making my own herbal remedies, and I realize the main ingredient of your love  is what I needed the most.

Mommy, I know there were difficult times in our life too, being blown and tossed by the storm of trials, but the way you held tighter to God, (even though I didn’t understand it then) I am just amazed. Do you realize that today when I have to face my life trials, I feel the strength and positivity because you showed me how to live through it, by trusting in God and holding him tight.

Mommy, remember the palm leaf (we receive on Palm Sunday) you tied to the plant (the Moringa plant in our back yard, which you brought from Tamil Nadu and everybody said it won’t bear fruit, because it is replanted in different soil) that wasn’t bearing fruit and then one morning you woke up to see that it not only bore fruit, but the best fruit. And when we get unwell the holy anointed oil you apply on the affected area and pray to make us feel better. In all your little actions like this, even though more that palm leaf or the oil, what I see is your faith. (You always remind me of the woman who touched the robe of Jesus in the crowd, and Jesus turned to her to say, daughter your faith has healed you). You don’t realize how it influenced me to deep root my faith in God.

Mommy, I know and I heard you talking proudly of us, your children to others. And tomorrow, if God is willing to give me my own child, do you know how proud I will feel to teach your grandchild all those wonderful things you taught me.

Mommy, today when I look through the rear view mirror of my life, I realize how blessed I am for having you, for you made me a human being worthy enough to be in this world. I thank God every day for I feel favored and blessed to have you as mine.. Much Love .

~ ChinchuGibu

(P.S. It’s Mother’s day today in certain parts of the world, even though we dont need a special day to celebrate our lovely mothers, I felt it is worth it. I wish all the lovely women out there a Happy Mother’s day)

As a child I always wanted to grow up and be independent. But when I grew up, I realized my childhood was the best phase of my life. I sometimes wish the time machines were real so I could fly back to my carefree days. Well, of course, reality is far away from my fantasy thoughts. The weather was extremely pleasant today, I really wanted to go out and get some fresh air.  It has been a long while that I have gone out for a walk. My mind and body have not revived yet from the shift I did last night. For some unknown reason I find it exceedingly difficult to cope with night shifts. Adding to it, the mask I wore makes it even worse, by depriving my brain of oxygen. I really felt to inhale very hard and deep so I could get all the oxygen to revitalize all the cells of my body. Meanwhile, my eyes were busy capturing the beauty of blossoming nature around me. And suddenly this little being secured my line of vision. A little common dandelion. I remembered when I was little, I was fond of this flower, I liked to pick it, so I could blow its petals. It imparted great joy in me as child. I know it sounds a bit silly, but it is an overwhelming feeling. Now that I saw it again, I gently picked it and I blew its petals once again. And as I did it, I sensed the same feeling of satisfaction as I felt as a child ..

~ChinchuGibu