The Cold Uncertainty of Life

Amelia was knackered after the long shift at work. She desperately needed a soak. She opened the house door and ran to the bathroom and left the bath running, added some lavender oil and Epsom salt in it, before even taking off her uniform. It was such a hectic day at work. She walked to her room, kept her hand bag aside, looked herself in the mirror. She stared for a few moments on the tiresome little face of her glowing youth. Suddenly remembered that the bath is still running, she removed her work uniform and immersed herself to have a good soak, to wash away the weariness of her body and mind. The fragrance of lavender and the warmth of the water, were a soothing treat to her aching body. She didn’t realise how quickly she slipped into her profound thoughts. 

Amelia is a qualified nurse working in a cardiac emergency unit, very passionate in what she do. She spreads so much positivity among people she work with, that she is loved by both her colleagues and the patients. She is quite brave and equally an empathetic person. Today she feels a bit shaken. She was allocated to the empty bed today, the only one empty bed out of the 12 beds in the unit. She spend half of the shift helping others in the unit. Suddenly, a code blue alert came from the hospital lobby area, where in a young man probably about a 35 year old, had a crash. The young man had a cardiac arrest. 

In no time, the whole team was there dealing with the emergency, counts of the CPR, sounds of the Defibrillator, breaking of ampoules, intubation and insertion of sheaths and the central lines. However, couldn’t revive the poor soul. And finally, Amelia was at the bed side, on her own looking at person’s lifeless body. So many thoughts came her mind. “He could be somebody’s son, somebody’s brother, He could have had the breakfast this morning with his family, took day off from work to accompany his father who was admitted this morning for an elective procedure. He could have been eagerly waiting in the lobby, possibly thinking of going home early, after his father’s procedure. He could possibly had other commitments for this evening. And of course a family could possibly be waiting for him to return home.” Amelia couldn’t accept the untimely departure of this young man’s soul. She has attended several cases of cardiac arrest, some revived, some didn’t. Never felt so unfair like she felt now. 

Amelia felt an abrupt cold wave feathered her body, regained her consciousness, she looked around, ‘Oh, where am I, where is the young man? She asked. She realised, she is in the bath, and the water  is no more warm, and orientated herself that she is no more at work, but she is home. She thought, “He is nobody to me, but how this thought completely conquered my mind?”. She stepped off the bath, to the mat and put on her gown. 

While drying her hair and creaming her body, she was thinking of her loving family. As the incident at work enlightened her mind with the insight of how uncertain life can be. Her hands reached the hands free set at the bed side table, dialled the number saved as ‘Home’. Her Mom picked the phone at the other end after a couple of rings. Amelia felt a sense of comfort embracing her. She had a brief conversation which was enough to calm her disturbed soul. Soon she was heading to bed, she sat on her bed, looked up, and her lips moved in prayer for the young man’s soul and his family, and for all the lovely people around her. And she snuggled herself in the blanket with a peaceful mind to rest, hoping for a new day, a new tomorrow.

~ Chinchu Gibu

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