My Profound Thoughts

It’s getting a bit too strange right now with the virus around. Looking into the uncertainty Amelia gazed into the empty road ahead. She been driving back home from work. The spring season is here. Indeed a beautiful sunny afternoon. The rapeseed flowers are blooming in the fields on her right side. Usually this route is busy with the traffic at this time of the day. But today, it felt as though she was the only one in that road. A feeling of insecurity and lacking surrounded her. The country on lockdown, as though everything came to a halt.

Even though she was focussing on her driving, she still couldn’t get over the stressful morning at work today. The lack of PPE is indeed a huge thing, she thought. Amelia loves her profession so much. She works so passionately. She feels that her smile and her touch has so much power, as she imparted a great positivity to the team and her patients. But today she wished that she were not a nurse, as she felt insecure at work. She saw the fear in her colleagues’ eyes. She saw people dying like flies beside. And she was extremely saddened by the negligence of the authorities not ensuring the staff safety. She was feeling sick thinking about lack of safety resources in such a reputed hospital.

Amelia is a very confident and experienced nurse in her field. She knew how to deal with patients, no matter what they came up with. But this new virus thing is getting a bit out of control. Her colleague has now been asked to self quarantine due to developing symptoms of the same. She was never concerned of her safety before, because she knew her skills and being the infection control champion, she has mastered to deal with small outbreaks at workplace.

After half an hour drive, Amelia slowed down to turn to the driveway in front of her little bungalow and carefully stopped the car. She flipped down the sun visor and looked in to the vanity mirror to see her tired eyes. She felt pathetic looking to herself. She did work hectic shifts in the past as well, but never felt so down and lost before. Suddenly she felt a vibration, that woke her from her profound thoughts. She came back to her senses, and realised that it was her phone that vibrated in her pocket. She grabbed her phone just to see the news headlines on the current death tolls. Seeing this she frowned. She took her handbag, lunch bag and uniform bag and locked the car, heading to her door..

As she entered her home, she straight away put her uniform in the washing machine. She saw her husband watching the news live in their living room. She hesitated to enter the room to see her other half. Instead she removed her clothes and went straight for a shower. She scrubbed herself until she felt that her skin was peeling off. “I shouldn’t bring any trace of it home” she thought. She didn’t even know how long she took to finally come out of the shower room. She finally came, sat beside her husband, kissed his cheeks and slowly rested her head on his shoulder. She immediately sensed a feeling of comfort, a feeling of being home, away from all the chaos of the pandemic.

Amelia’s heart felt lighter and lighter and she slipped to deep sleep. After all she is back from a busy day at work and her energy was completely drained. Amelia’s lips curled up in her sleep, she looked beautiful with the smile. She was seeing a beautiful dream. She whispered in sleep, “This day will pass too”.

~ Chinchu Gibu