It was kind of a different unexplainable feeling, when I came out for a walk after a few weeks of work to home and home to work run. I could feel the yearning of my body and soul for fresh air and light. I feel sorry for myself and all the human race for the state we are in (rather we put ourselves to.. well.. who to blame.. I could only take a deep breathe in and sigh).
I sat at my window, looking out at the road, watching those who pass by and think to myself, when will I be able to go out and feel the air and the meagre sunshine we get in winter. I felt ill, exhausted, and shattered as if I was ran over by a truck. Ten days of isolation: I slept effortlessly for 24 hours a day. It’s true that I wasn’t well enough anyway to go out, even if the “isolation” bit was absent. But it was the feeling of being caged, that took over those periods of wakefulness I had. I thought I can’t wait for the COVID days to be over.
I passed by a few dog walkers, as I was heading down to the post office. I thought to myself, it would be nice to have a dog to accompany when you walk on your own. The bulb that lit in my head suddenly disappeared, I don’t think I can manage that. “No Chinchu, high maintenance it is,” I sighed as I glanced at the doggy who wagged tail at me trying to show its friendly self. I could only respond with smile.
I could see the long socially-distanced queue outside the post office. I realised I am not going in anytime sooner. I took my phone out of the pocket and clicked on to the iPhone notes📝 and started writing about how I felt coming out for the walk after a long while. Nothing can stop me from writing what I feel, no matter the time, the place or the space, can it?
I eventually bought the post cards and the stamps after my fair share of waiting. (I suddenly felt the urge to write to some of my friends, though it’s the time of social-media, I do miss the old school way of communication: having said that I am neither too old school nor the “new gens” as they say, but probably a link between the two.)
On my return, I slowed my pace, just to absorb the whole nature in my vision field to deep within me. Though it looked a bit blue and grey, it was still pleasing to the eye in someways. I took a few snaps, I spoke to a friend, and I reached home, I felt a new energy filling in me. As I entered my home, after taking off my coat and boots, I settled on my couch with my eyes closed, and thought, “I managed to satisfy my cravings: for fresh air and light..”
P.S. Some little thoughts in this big world!!