“Leave me to Grieve”, says Amelia

Amelia focussed on the presenter, who was going through the slides on chemotherapy. It’s an exciting area of expertise, and it undoubtedly piqued her interest. Amelia was rather intrigued by the fact that the girl who once dreaded working in oncology has changed to the extent that she is preparing to gain knowledge in administering cancer treatment.

The slides that followed started to stir up her mind, taking her back to her worst nightmare that happened a year ago. She shuffled in her seat uncomfortably, her eyes misted over. She blinked a few times to hold back her tears from spilling. Took her bottle to take a few sips of water, in an attempt to distract her line of thoughts. Luckily for her, after the next couple of slides, the trainer decided to stop for a break.

Amelia stepped out for a breather and dialled the number to speak to her comfort place, her mother. As she finished her chat and returned to her seat, she felt relaxed and better. However, one thing she realised that she was not over it though it has been a year since she lost her pregnancy with ectopic.

Amelia kept herself numb and off all the triggers that reminded her of the loss. But occasionally, some random incidents, places, talks, scenes and people took her back to those memories.

Amelia refrained from opening up to people who scrutinised her with their judgemental attitude. She has given herself all the time to gather herself at a pace set by her mind and her body and not the people around her.

As she chose to walk away, putting her signature smile on her face, Amelia understands that being upset and tearful on certain days won’t make her any weaker person but reminds her how much stronger she became to acknowledge her loss.

Much Love & God bless..

~ Chinchu Gibu

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