I thought I am familiar with the handwriting on the envelope. When I opened it, tears blurred my vision. I know she cares about us, but this was indeed very thoughtful, far beyond all my expectations.
I know this year has been different than ever for everyone that belongs to the human race. Though many out there, are getting fed up working from home and all, (of course I haven’t walked in their shoes), I like to see it differently through my glasses, in a Nurse’s viewpoint.
It’s my week off from work. And today isn’t just another day, but the treat I give myself, for being diligent at work in these tough times. I love every second I spend in my couch doing nothing, recuperating and reviving my emotionally drained soul. I do take a break every now and then to recharge myself and keep me going.
Don’t take me wrong, I love my job. But sometimes I feel sad and helpless when I see the people I look after, longing for a hug from their sons /daughters /grandchildren; or just to hold their hands or at least to see their faces. I see before me a generation that survived the World War, getting crumbled, and hopeless. Still, I do try, to find and return their lost smiles.
And for myself, I decided to have a week off doing nothing.
Implies: a week full of writing, painting and movies.
So, today I have been watching all these Christmas movies in Netflix, full of Christmas surprises and Christmas miracles, and I didn’t expect a little surprise to be waiting for me at my door.
Yes, an early birthday wish from my manager at work. I can’t explain how delighted I felt reading the card; it really made my day. That was very thoughtful and it really counts.
Thank you dear boss for an early birthday surprise. That was awesome 🌟
~ Chinchu Gibu
Writing to me is an art that gives a profile or character to my thoughts and makes it visible to my eye.
Every word that comes from my pen makes incredible sense to me when I write it; and every time I read it, I relive it with the same energy and spirit as I did the first time.
I may not be perfect with my vocabulary and grammar, but I should admit that I put my soul to it, to give it life because it’s mine.
’Mine’ implies all those feelings and emotions of what I see, hear, feel or come across at some point in my life or the lives around me.
It’s not something I do because, I can’t sleep, but it is something that doesn’t allow me to do the same.
It’s not something I do because I have to, but it is something that I always want to do.
It’s not something to meet any deadlines, but it is something to keep me in line.
It’s not something that I daydream about, but it is a dream that I ought to live.
It gives me immense joy and a sense of accomplishment when I read the exact picture that is in my mind in the paper.
When I sit down to write, I tell myself, there is nothing to prove to anyone, just let it flow like water, let it take its course, let it take its time, and just let it be as it turns out.
As I look around, there is always something to write every day, and I think it’s the time, and the effort to put it in words is all I need. But, it doesn’t work like that. It’s all about the urge to write; it comes from within; and once I have it, nothing can stop me.
My scripts so far have advanced from diaries, and iPhone notes to poems, short stories and blogs and a few other ’works in progress’ to publish.
Life gets so remarkable when there is something to look forward to, especially when it is a dream, that has kept you awake for so long.
~ Chinchu Gibu
Posted on October 22, 2020
I always believed that the dreams we see in our sleep are the thoughts that overflow from our subconscious self.
I had a dream last night. One big dream seen in three different fragments. It sounds profound. Yes, to me it does.
The first one was a conversation with two of my ex-colleagues about an important matter in life. The topic of which I can’t reveal right now, because it is what am writing my book about. I do get it, why I saw this in my dream because I keep thinking about it all the time.
The second one was someone who I know, came to pick one of the bottles I painted. I saw myself searching for the cork lights which I kept on the table, because I wanted to give the person, the bottle with the lights in them. Funny thing was, it was there, but I didn’t see it, until she was about to leave. This isn’t strange to be a dream, because I had a similar conversation with that individual and she said she will come home to pick the bottle.
The craziest was the third one, the person involved was one of the celebrities of Indian Cinema, he was right in front of me. He gave autograph to everyone, even my brother got the signature, but I missed it. Because I went to find the best diary of mine to get his signature, and I was too late. To be honest, am not a die-hard fan of this superstar, but I was hugely disappointed as I woke up because I just missed it. Isn’t it crazy?
Sigmund Freud, in his book ’The Interpretation of Dreams’ quoted that Dreams are often most profound when they seem the most crazy.
Well, I have no idea what it meant or what profound thought was in my mind to see it.
But later, when I reflected on my dream, I found a meaning to what I saw.
Yes, the first part was a thought that never left my mind, because it is the most beautiful dream of my life.
The second one, made me feel that the things I need in my life are just around me, but I look for it elsewhere without realising it, until finally, I find it within my reach.
And the third one makes me understand, not everything needs to be perfect in life, because the search for perfection can ruin the actual fun.
Never mind, my mind is capable of bringing up bizarre rationales for everything I perceive.
So, what about that dream we see in broad daylight?
The one we see while we are fully awake, not by thoughts, but by passion.
The one for which we have to think a bit unique, outside the box.
The one for which we have to re-direct our journey from the set routes.
The one for which we have to be a bit different from the expected norms.
The one for which our heart leads the way rather than our brain.
The one for which every little step towards it imparts an immense joy of fulfilment.
I have a dream. Do you?
Yes, we all live a busy life, amidst COVID-19 ruining most of our plans. But do you think we can let it be?
Of course not.
Let’s rise up again, to pursue those dreams.
Not the one you see in your sleep, but the ones as Dr A P J Abdul Kalaam said,
“Dream is not that which you see while sleeping it is something that does not let you sleep.”
~ Chinchu Gibu
Posted on October 5, 2020
”When life doesn’t have much ’life’ to offer us, learn to live the way it leads.”
Even though COVID-19 was a bit too unfair and harsh on us, shattering some of our dreams, I do realise we are just the one family among the millions of others in this world, who are affected by the same.
Unlike previous years, this year life didn’t seem to have much ’life’ to offer us. Some days I feel, I am rather existing than living. Again, probably the same feeling, as many others experience around me.
My perspective to life has changed considerably in the past few months, precisely since the outbreak of the pandemic.
I would rather be home safe and sound than having a stroll in the city doing window shopping. However, I still miss the days I did the same with my friends.
I would rather look out through the window and watch people, rather than watching the alarming figures of the pandemic spread in the news. Because I started missing life and the vitality it offers.
I would rather be indoors and not wear a mask. Because the cells of my body started getting exhausted, as it suffers the deprivation of the abundance of oxygen it used to enjoy.
I would rather adjust to what I have than go out every time to buy what I need. This is my time to learn that in order to survive I only need a few things, and the many things I want are not that essential.
I would rather develop a new skill or do some painting, which I never knew I could do before, than sitting idle and wasting life, because now I learned the value of life. I also understood what it meant by the saying, ”where there is a will, there is a way”.
I would rather cancel my holidays, and pray that my family back home would stay safe. Now that life has overturned its trend in a strange way, staying away has become the safest option than staying together.
I would rather learn to live and embrace my circumstances rather than waiting to return back to normal. Because normal to me has become history and the way to return, an unresolved mystery.
”When life doesn’t have much ’life’ to offer us, learn to live the way it leads.”
Posted on September 21, 2020
Some people ask me,
”why you always smile?”
”What makes you so happy?”
And I reply,
”To stay happy and to smile is my choice and I can’t help it.”
But my question back is,
”What makes you not to smile?”
Let me tell you why you have to smile everyday:
Wear a smile on your face as you get up in the morning, to revitalize your soul for a brand new day.
Wear a smile on your face when you see an older person walking alone, it will uplift a lonely soul.
Wear a smile on your face, it will emit positivity from you to the person at the receiving end.
Wear a smile on your face, it will ease up your facial muscles and energize your inner-being.
Wear a smile on your face, as it cost not a single penny, but the outcome of it is priceless.
Wear a smile on your face, to reassure yourself that staying happy is your choice no matter what life has to offer.
Wear a smile on your face, it’s an ornament that will beautify your face, and enhance its value.
Wear a smile on your face, and be grateful for your life, while many didn’t make it to see this daylight.
Life gives you so many reasons to smile, yet you choose not to, isn’t it a bit ungrateful?
Wear a smile on your face, Dammit!! ☺️😂
~ Chinchu Gibu
PC: Google Images (Pinterest)
Posted on September 18, 2020
Siby, my dear brother:
Thinking of you, makes me feel the same way as quoted by Jane Austen in her novel Mansfield Park,
”What strange creatures brothers are!”
Isn’t it true? It is indeed.
Shall we take a stroll through the memory lane?
Okay, come on then.
Do you remember..
Back then, we walked to school-bus stop holding hands together. We had so much to talk about on our way that no person or thing could distract us or break-into our little bubble.😊
Back then, after a mid-term examination, as usual mummy was going through the question paper with you, and you gave her all answers. Mummy was happy, but what you said afterwards made us all dumbfounded, ”But mummy, I felt too sleepy that I didn’t write it all.” You know what, am not surprised at all, you still can do wonderful things like this.😆
Back then, I used to try recipes that were published in ’vanitha’ magazine, and you were my guinea pig who always appreciated my skills. Now, though I got your brother-in-law here, I still miss our little experiments and mummy’s scoldings for finishing her ingredients.😋
Back then, you used to call out for mummy or me from outside to pick a thing which is kept on the table in the same room as you are. And later when you told me that you would like to join the army, I knew it wasn’t your cuppa tea and reminded you of the unique attribute of yours which is beyond ’peak of laziness’.😝
Back then, we were too noisy having fun with our pillow game at home, and mummy would angrily come out of the kitchen to scold us, but we always remained at the same side of the argument. That was quite cute, and I giggle even now thinking of the same.🙄
Back then, we used to play cricket in the car-porch, just the two of us. No rules mattered, neither the number of players nor the 22-yard pitch, as we played in our terms and it was still cricket for us.😂
Back then, do you remember the evening, we were at the dinner table, with candlelight as it was the usual 30-minutes power-cut time, you broke a piece of news that papa and I were stunned hearing it, but mummy joined with the fun. I still could laugh my head off, thinking about your serious discussion.🤣
Back then, you weren’t as tall as now, I proudly had my head high being your elder sister, as you looked up at me. But as you grew taller, it’s never the same again, as I somehow failed to catch up with your height.🤭
And many more..
I am confident that wherever you are, your thoughts and prayers are always there, no matter how much pressure the distance and circumstance can put in our lives.😊
I know you bear no grudges against me, no matter, how much I tease or pick a fight with you or even reveal a secret of yours. I feel great to enjoy this privilege. ☺️
Even though I love the way you pity your brother-in-law for bearing with my unreasonable ways and unbearable artistic ideas, and takes his side during our little conversations, don’t you feel too lucky that I forgive you every time? (kidding)🤨
On this special day, I just want to say, you are amazing as you are, and we are proud of you. 🤗
We wish you all joy and blessings on your special day.. May God be with you..😇
HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🎉 🎁 🎈
Much Love ❤️
~ Chinchu Gibu
Posted on September 17, 2020
I rub my eyes, with one eye open I snooze my alarm and turn to sleep again. It is an arduous task for me to rise from bed in the morning. I have my appointment booked for 10:00 at Attleborough for my car service and mot, and it’s about half an hour drive.
It took me another hour, to finally get up from the bed. And that hour I slept from the time my alarm rang to the moment I got up was the best sleep I had in the night —do you feel the same as I do?
As I slowly got up to get ready, I thought to myself with a contented smile,
”One of the best things I learned in the past few years is learning to drive.”
People love driving for many reasons, some for the necessity and some for pleasure. To me, the former suited the best, as there existed no choice than learning to drive.
I was scared to death when I first step my foot on the gas from the residential area lane to a faster road. The scene is explicit as ever in my mind. And the experience in the dual carriageway was even dramatic; I remember crying out,
”Oh no, it’s too fast, I can’t see anything.”
And my instructor kept reassuring me,
”No Chinchu, you can see everything.”
Like the day I took my first step to walk, the day I passed my driving test became a milestone to cherish.
Being a new driver, the first year, we have been to many places, it was exciting, to taste freedom behind the wheel. The second-year started with the pandemic that swallowed the world I knew before and left us with a life full of restrictions.
Since life changed around me, the drive from home to work and vice-versa has become delightful. I started enjoying the scenic view of the route in my little journey. And hence, it became more of a therapy, than a mode of travel—a therapy to comfort my soul.
Driving on country roads is an experience. I felt grateful in heart to be able to live in the countryside. The peaceful traffic-free track ahead enveloped with the scenic elegance of nature is not only food for the eye but also the mind.
”Isn’t it amazing to get up in the morning, sit up in front of the steering wheel, set up your navigator and off you go?”
~ Chinchu Gibu
Posted on September 12, 2020
Few years ago, we strolled through the magical city of Edinburgh, where this genius writer lived during the creation of her world-famous character ’Harry Potter’.
The beauty of the city is that just being there itself is so inspiring enough that anyone could pen down a few words, not necessarily need to be a writer.
Sometimes, I look back on the paths I walked by, and raise my eyes to heaven and wish,
”God, will you give me another chance to walk once again through the same alleys that I’ve already crossed.”
Dear Edinburgh, I wish that once again after these troublesome days are passed, I will be able to come to you with my other half, on a cold winter morning, to walk in your streets holding hands, like I did last time.
~ Chinchu Gibu
PC: Google images: JK Rowling Quotes
Posted on September 10, 2020
Sometimes it’s just fun, you just get up in the morning, you know your friend is waiting outside, so it is just to get ready, have your walk shoes on and off you go.
No planned routes, no work-out regimes, no target to achieve, just set off to explore.
We walked through the footpath, 15-20 mins later, we found a signpost which pointed to a field with ”public path” written on it. We just followed.
The little yellow flower caught in my sight. I just picked it.
”Beautiful, isn’t it?”
I asked as I showed it to Rai. She said,
”I’ll pick you a bunch of flowers.”
We walked through the fields and the meadows, passed the little residential area, and walkway beside the school ground.
Collected as many flowers and berries we found on the way, of different colours and forms, and finally I got a bunch.
And Rai took a picture of me with the flowers and sighed,
”It’s now the fifth week of the walk, and here she is, still picking flowers.”
Posted on September 8, 2020
In the four years, I lived in London, before relocating to where I am now, I almost travelled in every tube of the London Underground. However, the feeling imparted by the Jubilee Line is just mind-blowing. To me, it represents a fast and busy life in that metropolitan city. I could easily get lost in the crowd without worrying about my way back home because eventually, you will find your way around. And, as for the matter of fact, The Jubilee line connects to all the underground tube lines.
Well, I wasn’t reminiscing on my memories in London. But, the feeling I had after my busy and hectic shift at work a couple of days ago (to be precise, last Friday), reminded me of the journey by the Jubilee line, one of the fastest of all the tubes.
Since I started driving, I have been getting enough cooling time to relax and recover from my shifts before reaching home, especially that I live miles away from my workplace now.
But unlike other days, that day, I didn’t stop, I mean literally, I was running like a headless chicken, trying to do everything I have to do as it kept on coming, one after the other.
By the end of the shift, I was utterly drained, my body was exhausted, but my brain was still left behind in the same pace, with the same feeling. A sense of the engine rumbling and the iron tyre screeching, while the train is accelerating from the platform. And, obviously the pressure build-up in the ears, which still remains, even after you get down at the station.
At that moment, I only wished if I could run to a cliff, close my ears with my palms, scream out loud to overcome all the after-effects of the day. Then, sink in my duvet for the much-needed sleep to wake up for another new day.
But, of course, that thought wasn’t practical enough to be performed by me at that time. So, I sat down with my sketchbook and drew a picture. Of course, the art of an exhausted soul living in an overworked body. And jotted a few words down, I don’t know how much time I spent there, before I slipped to sleep, to the world of my dreams.
Yes, some days are like that.
And I do realise how words and colours play a pivotal role in my day to day life by controlling my thought process and uplifting my soul.
~ Chinchu Gibu
NB: Some days I sit to write, completely unaware of what my pen will bring up until the words are written. And sometimes it amazes me by relating a current moment to a memory or a feeling I already experienced before.