THE DREAM

Since childhood, Amelia has seen and experienced how her elders gave importance to the Passion Week, especially the Passover, The Good Friday and Easter. The few days of living with Christ through the last supper, betrayal, suffering, crucifixion and resurrection. This week is of utmost importance in a Christian life. This year a sense of guilt occupied her heart for not being part of any of these as she practiced in the past. She felt bitter in heart. “How could I become so passive?” She thought.

Suddenly she heard this voice in her ears. She turned to the side to see who possessed such a divine voice. She only could see the bright beam of light that made her vision field blind. She closed her eyes and just listened. “My Child!! This time I only wanted you to sit beside the sick and lend your hand to them, to care and comfort.” As soon as she heard these words, she opened her eyes. “Oh! that was a dream.” She shook her head and rubbed her eyes.

Last two days (The day of Passover and The Good Friday) she been at work. She came home with the sense of regret, that she didn’t spend her time with Christ on His way to the cross. Her conscience blamed her. But before even she knew, she fell asleep. She was fatigued after long hours of work. And now as she woke up from this beautiful dream, she looked above and said, “Thank You Lord, Thank You for my call as a Nurse. You gave me the privilege to be with the sick and needy. I see my Hope in you… I rejoice for I see the Tomb, It’s empty… I see that You’ve Resurrected… for me and everybody in this World.”

~ Chinchu Gibu

LOCKDOWN: A Tale Of Trapped Minds

It’s been a while now that anything exciting has happened. Life was just limited to work and home. No outings, no dine outs, no window shopping, no chill outs with friends, no moving at all. Since the lockdown life has come to a standby. It felt robotic, as though an external force controlled every movement, but the funny thing was it was just a virus.

Amelia was lost in thoughts, her mind drove back to an year ago. She was so excited this time of last year, as she was looking forward to buy her first car. A girl who was keenly waiting to her road to freedom. Though a bit reluctant to go straight to fast moving roads, she was just overwhelmed of her achievement. For her this has always been an unattainable dream in her mind due to fear of speedy vehicles. She couldn’t believe that an year has passed. She really wished to take the key and just drive through the countryside, just to enjoy the scenic beauty. She felt helpless, she was like a bird trapped in the nest. She knew this wasn’t ‘essential’ in the point of view of a lockdown.

Amelia is having a day off from work today. Her other half has already left to work. As much as she enjoyed the time spend with him, she indeed loved her lone time too. But this time it felt a bit weird for her. She kneeled on the couch, sat facing the window, gazing to the main road . She saw the cars parked in front of all the houses as far as she could see. She was amazed by the thought that how many people are stuck in these houses. Behind those walls there could be an elderly lady sitting helpless who is not able to get her essential supplies, a sad child who is not able to go to school and see his friends, an adult who is frustrated not being able to go to work to provide for his family and even a key worker who is on isolation due to having symptoms of the virus. This thought made her heart ache.

She woke up by the phone bell, as she grabbed the phone, she saw this familiar name of her friend. Amelia was shaken by the news she heard. She heard about the death of this young boy after contracting the virus. The boy next door to her friend, who lived with his family. She was extremely saddened about the thought of him taken away from his family, and not been able to bid final good bye before he left the world. It made her so emotional, the thought of dying without the loved ones froze her heart. What if he deeply wished to see them before he closed his eyes, what if he felt scared to let go of his body, what if he only wished to say how much he loved them.. Amelia’s whole body was trembling. She thought what if she would have to face death before she is ready for it. She sighed deeply. God how could life be merciless.

She glanced on the clock in her lounge. It is just after 11:00 in the morning. The sun shine has brushed through the blinds, her living room looks lively and bright. She thought of making lunch. Her friend has already given her the recipe of creamy chicken and mushroom pasta. She was so keen to make this Italian recipe for the first time. Amelia loved to experiment with food. She gathered the ingredients. And followed the steps as directed by her friend in her text message.

Even though she was focussing on her task, she peeked through the window to her back garden. The lawn really needed to be attended, the arrival of spring was very much evident. She saw these two pigeons rubbing their beaks together. The nature is just prospering itself. Nothing seemed to have affected it. Eventually, Amelia washed the dishes as she finished cooking.

After daily chores, she paused for a while. She realised that it was not just her body that was trapped behind doors,but also her mind too as she kept losing herself in her thoughts and worries. She was flabbergasted by the thought that this is how it feels about staying home for just one day. How about those people who have to stay indoors for several days. Amelia said to herself “Liberty is indeed a great feeling, you only know it once you are deprived of it”. She wanted a release. She came to the living room and lighted a candle in front of the sacred heart picture of Jesus and kneeled down with a heavy heart. Her lips moved in a personal conversation with the creator of the world. She didn’t have no complains this time, but only a prayer to save the world. She knew this virus was nothing in His eyes. She knew He couldn’t put His people to be destroyed. She knew there is nothing impossible for her Heavenly Father. She knew no hair will fall off her head without His notice. She knew He would only let these trials bend you, but not break you. She prayed if it was His will for His people to live through this, then Let His people be strengthened enough to walk this path. Her soul felt enlightened and she looked above. This time she was full of hope, A hope for a new tomorrow.

NB: No doubt this lockdown is essential at the present arising situation. But as a coin has two sides, while being too focussed on the physical well-being that we stick to the lockdown measures, we need not forget the effects it poses to the mental well-being of a person .. Eagerly waiting for the day we be able to maintain our balance..May God bless the World..

(Just a thought !!)

~ Chinchu Gibu

A walk through the Pandemic..

It’s getting a bit too strange right now with the virus around. Looking into the uncertainty Amelia gazed into the empty road ahead. She been driving back home from work. The spring season is here. Indeed a beautiful sunny afternoon. The rapeseed flowers are blooming in the fields on her right side. Usually this route is busy with the traffic at this time of the day. But today, it felt as though she was the only one in that road. A feeling of insecurity and lacking surrounded her. The country on lockdown, as though everything came to a halt.

Even though she was focussing on her driving, she still couldn’t get over the stressful morning at work today. The lack of PPE is indeed a huge thing, she thought. Amelia loves her profession so much. She works so passionately. She feels that her smile and her touch has so much power, as she imparted a great positivity to the team and her patients. But today she wished that she were not a nurse, as she felt insecure at work. She saw the fear in her colleagues’ eyes. She saw people dying like flies beside. And she was extremely saddened by the negligence of the authorities not ensuring the staff safety. She was feeling sick thinking about lack of safety resources in such a reputed hospital.

Amelia is a very confident and experienced nurse in her field. She knew how to deal with patients, no matter what they came up with. But this new virus thing is getting a bit out of control. Her colleague has now been asked to self quarantine due to developing symptoms of the same. She was never concerned of her safety before, because she knew her skills and being the infection control champion, she has mastered to deal with small outbreaks at workplace.

After half an hour drive, Amelia slowed down to turn to the driveway in front of her little bungalow and carefully stopped the car. She flipped down the sun visor and looked in to the vanity mirror to see her tired eyes. She felt pathetic looking to herself. She did work hectic shifts in the past as well, but never felt so down and lost before. Suddenly she felt a vibration, that woke her from her profound thoughts. She came back to her senses, and realised that it was her phone that vibrated in her pocket. She grabbed her phone just to see the news headlines on the current death tolls. Seeing this she frowned. She took her handbag, lunch bag and uniform bag and locked the car, heading to her door..

As she entered her home, she straight away put her uniform in the washing machine. She saw her husband watching the news live in their living room. She hesitated to enter the room to see her other half. Instead she removed her clothes and went straight for a shower. She scrubbed herself until she felt that her skin was peeling off. “I shouldn’t bring any trace of it home” she thought. She didn’t even know how long she took to finally come out of the shower room. She finally came, sat beside her husband, kissed his cheeks and slowly rested her head on his shoulder. She immediately sensed a feeling of comfort, a feeling of being home, away from all the chaos of the pandemic.

Amelia’s heart felt lighter and lighter and she slipped to deep sleep. After all she is back from a busy day at work and her energy was completely drained. Amelia’s lips curled up in her sleep, she looked beautiful with the smile. She was seeing a beautiful dream. She whispered in sleep, “This day will pass too”.

~ Chinchu Gibu

COVID-19

T’was all good as it always have been

Until the rise of a virus ,a strain unseen

Have no vaccine, but to keep hands clean

The only known way to beat COVID-19

T’is scary to see life fade away so quick

By making the world so helpless and sick

Thousands are falling beside, like flies

Leaving behind those unheard cries

The panic of the unknown, is all you see

With a clueless mind that force you to flee

So you hide away from the chaos around

With the fears of uncertainty that is bound

As you look down to us from heaven abode

Be merciful to thy people ,my dear Lord,

Let’s fight this illness, the way you guide

With your angels to protect by our side

Sorry my Lord, we walked away from you,

With the luxuries of life, as we often do..

Don’t let us die in the fire of your wrath,

Give us another chance, to follow thy path

( Let’s be together to overcome this, Let’s follow the guidelines, Let’s break the chain of infection , Let’s pray for the World)

~ Chinchu Gibu

I Wonder Why..?

We are just amazing beings (supposed to be called ‘human’), isn’t it..? Though we have a brain and ability of reasoning, judgement and intellect, we act in ways that one would think whether we even have the same.. We fight for religion be it church temple or mosque, we even fight for God, we fight for marks and achievements , we been compared with next door child/neighbour, we fight for seats in the best college, we do everything in competition..The funniest, rather contradictory aspect of us is when we have a flood or nipa or corona, nothing else we fight for matters anymore..We still can live without all the many things we actually fight for in life..

Now the question is do we regularly need some natural calamity or disease outbreak to be a human these days?

~Chinchu Gibu

THE PORTRAIT THAT TALKS TO ME

There’s a frame nailed to my living room wall,

That imparts an intense feeling deep to my soul.

The picture of Mary and Infant Jesus it portrays,

With the warmth of holy love and full of grace.

I see them watching me every day, indeed amazed

Listening to my sigh and all the words I phrased

When life gets so tough, with all of its hustles,

They give me those gestures, to solve my puzzles.

I feel thy comfort, and the pat on my shoulder,

When I am weak, Thy presence makes me bolder.

Your face is serene and full of innocence I see,

As though the Heaven’s opened in front of me.

The mother and child that brings peace to my heart

The feeling of immense love, no one could part

The portrait that talks to me, the moment I look

That reads me word by word like an open book

_ChinchuGibu_

Dementia: MY PERCEPTION THROUGH YOUR VISION

I was amazed to look through your eyes,

The little world of yours under the skies

Seeing Your fondest memories fade away,

By Leaving behind those feelings to stay

I’ve seen you smiling, I’ve seen you tearful,

Quite often, I have even seen you fearful

I may not understand the way you feel,

But definitely it is hard, the life you deal.

It’s exhausting for you to find the words

To make me understand, where it hurts.

As you struggle to convey those needs,

How easily do I misinterpret your deeds.

Once you’re young, and now you’re old,

You did have a family, a good household.

And suddenly, that everything changed,

Remains the feeling of being estranged

I saw your loved ones, so down and blue,

Unable to cope, with the reality they knew

To see you gradually lose the you, in you

Which to me is unfortunate, but very true

Though I can’t reverse this entire process,

I certainly can try to lessen your distress.

By helping you live well, wiping your tears,

And adding more life to your coming years

(Wrote on 22/03/18 inspired by an elderly lady living with dementia)

~Chinchu Gibu~

Dearest Mommy

You are that person in my life, like no other,

Whom I fondly call my precious mother.

Being born from you is a privilege to me,

Above everything else, it’s your face I see

You made my fingers familiar to words,

So, I gain wisdom and differ from the nerds.

You imparted in me God’s amazing love,

The grace that showers from higher above.

You showed me His creations, all around me,

The earth, the sky, the rivers and the sea.

No matter how big or small it could be,

You taught me to find beauty in what I see.

I love the comforts of your lap when I weep,

And your soft fingers that stroke me as I sleep.

When am down and feel unable to sort,

You are my strongest pillar and my fort.

I know I was favored in the Lord’s eye,

For which I will remain grateful till I die.

As I have you in His amazing grace I believe,

That made my life worth enough to live.

My love for you grow more day after day

Above and beyond what words could say

For you are my mother, that gave life to me,

My love my shelter, my everything is in thee

~Chinchu Gibu~

The Cold Uncertainty of Life

Amelia was knackered after the long shift at work. She desperately needed a soak. She opened the house door and ran to the bathroom and left the bath running, added some lavender oil and Epsom salt in it, before even taking off her uniform. It was such a hectic day at work. She walked to her room, kept her hand bag aside, looked herself in the mirror. She stared for a few moments on the tiresome little face of her glowing youth. Suddenly remembered that the bath is still running, she removed her work uniform and immersed herself to have a good soak, to wash away the weariness of her body and mind. The fragrance of lavender and the warmth of the water, were a soothing treat to her aching body. She didn’t realise how quickly she slipped into her profound thoughts. 

Amelia is a qualified nurse working in a cardiac emergency unit, very passionate in what she do. She spreads so much positivity among people she work with, that she is loved by both her colleagues and the patients. She is quite brave and equally an empathetic person. Today she feels a bit shaken. She was allocated to the empty bed today, the only one empty bed out of the 12 beds in the unit. She spend half of the shift helping others in the unit. Suddenly, a code blue alert came from the hospital lobby area, where in a young man probably about a 35 year old, had a crash. The young man had a cardiac arrest. 

In no time, the whole team was there dealing with the emergency, counts of the CPR, sounds of the Defibrillator, breaking of ampoules, intubation and insertion of sheaths and the central lines. However, couldn’t revive the poor soul. And finally, Amelia was at the bed side, on her own looking at person’s lifeless body. So many thoughts came her mind. “He could be somebody’s son, somebody’s brother, He could have had the breakfast this morning with his family, took day off from work to accompany his father who was admitted this morning for an elective procedure. He could have been eagerly waiting in the lobby, possibly thinking of going home early, after his father’s procedure. He could possibly had other commitments for this evening. And of course a family could possibly be waiting for him to return home.” Amelia couldn’t accept the untimely departure of this young man’s soul. She has attended several cases of cardiac arrest, some revived, some didn’t. Never felt so unfair like she felt now. 

Amelia felt an abrupt cold wave feathered her body, regained her consciousness, she looked around, ‘Oh, where am I, where is the young man? She asked. She realised, she is in the bath, and the water  is no more warm, and orientated herself that she is no more at work, but she is home. She thought, “He is nobody to me, but how this thought completely conquered my mind?”. She stepped off the bath, to the mat and put on her gown. 

While drying her hair and creaming her body, she was thinking of her loving family. As the incident at work enlightened her mind with the insight of how uncertain life can be. Her hands reached the hands free set at the bed side table, dialled the number saved as ‘Home’. Her Mom picked the phone at the other end after a couple of rings. Amelia felt a sense of comfort embracing her. She had a brief conversation which was enough to calm her disturbed soul. Soon she was heading to bed, she sat on her bed, looked up, and her lips moved in prayer for the young man’s soul and his family, and for all the lovely people around her. And she snuggled herself in the blanket with a peaceful mind to rest, hoping for a new day, a new tomorrow.

~ Chinchu Gibu

FRIENDS FOREVER

Friendship is defined by many people in many ways. I am sure each one of us have some memories connected to that one person or few people that remained at our side in all our ups and downs. Likewise, I too have experienced that lovely relationship in my life.

In every phase of life, a person’s perspective of seeing life is different. As a child our world revolves around parents. When I grew up, I had friends around, not many, but a very much refined few. While pursuing my degree, I lived in the college accommodation, wherein I happened to make friendship with these two-lovely people.

In the beginning, it wasn’t a very intimate bonding we shared. However, over time it grew, after overcoming several instances of love, fun, hatred, fights, tears and laughter. It survived even after been blown and tossed in numerous occasions throughout the journey.

It is true that love endures all hardships. We enjoyed each other’s company. Those card games we played, those little times we gossiped, those unknown recipes we cooked, those posters on our walls, those late-night assignments and different comfort spots we chose for our self-study before exams are memories worth cherishing.

Today as I ponder on my hostel days, I can’t think about these, without a tear drop in my eye and smile on my lip.

The beauty of every bond is the strength that binds it together, and the strength is nothing, but love and trust in one another. A few years  passed by as we left college and graduated. From the crossroad we met, our lives advanced further. We got  married, our priorities changed.

Life moved on in a much faster pace, chasing the dreams and facing the reality. We did keep in touch once in a while, not very often. Neither the time, nor the distance mattered much to us.

As we see ourselves located in different parts of the globe, in different time zones, it gives me immense pleasure to discover how amazingly the creator has knitted our bond together.

“How great thou art, my Lord”

~ Chinchu Gibu